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September 2010

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Just to post, for no reason.

I feel like livejournaling.
I'm not in a mood depressing enough to feel like filling in everything i've been missing in the past month and a half, so i won't at this moment. and when i do, it's gonna be private anyway.

but since this is for the public eye...

oh well.
so.
i think i am finally emotionally ready for something serious. no longer am i stuck on that one idea...thank god for that! i'm 100% sure i can start from scratch with someone and make it work. even if it was someone i've dated in the past (not that i'd want to get back with most of them...ugh) i know i could do it. it's just that, i haven't the confidence to actually attract anyone. and gee, i wonder how my ego got smashed... anyway, i just need a confidence boost. and getting it from the people i always get it from isn't enough anymore. D:

as for home life, well...it's better. i guess. i'm pretty sure dad has a girlfriend, and they're all but exclusive. i don't think they sleep together though. my mom and her boyfriend however, are like effing fifth graders. that's mostly jimmy's fault though. he's kind of immature, can't keep a girlfriend, or a job... but anyway. they're like, exclusive, but my mom doesn't like to call him her "boyfriend," because he's "so old." he's only what, forty-nine, or something like that. she's forty-three. it isn't that much of a difference, not when you're that old already. get over it, yeah?

and poor seren...when cora is born, she will be so spoiled, but she won't have a daddy. daddy is such a douchefuck. really. he waits til seven months into the pregnancy to leave her? what a dick. at least cora will be cute though. i'm guessing that she'll be a chubby baby, with daddy's lightass blonde hair, but mommy's green eyes. that's what mostly everyone thinks. guess we'll see when she's born!

and sam and seth...not too much to say about them. they're mostly okay. i don't hear too much from sam anymore, and i think she likes it that way....i don't know. she likes her own life and she'll tell us what she wants to of it. can't blame her, really. and seth just has a really bad temper. nothing new.

as for me?
i fucked this entire school year up. i have made bad choice after bad choice and i already all but lost my best friend, failed chemistry for the third grading period, and shunned away all new potential relationships i could have had. i've pushed people away and now the only one i really welcomed with open arms is growing away from me. i need a summer break. i need it badly. but hey, at least i only have ONE more school year left to go. just senior year. that's plenty enough time to make amends...right? at least i can maybe bring up that gpa...i need to.

i guess that's all for the public journal.

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